Friday, June 11, 2010

Friendship, revisited

The Thinking Housewife: The Death of Hospitality (If you enjoy reading her blog, please consider making a donation.)

It's been a while since I've organized a bbq for my high school friends, and I was contemplating doing that again this summer. But seeing how difficult it is to arrange other social events given everyone's schedules, especially the schedules of married people with families, I am doubting that it is worth the effort. If I were to make the invitations more formal, would I be more likely to receive responses, prompt or otherwise? How far in advance should such an event be planned, in order to take into consideration the calendars of married people?

I was trying to organize a movie night for this weekend, but people either were busy or didn't respond. This includes the person who originally suggested watching a movie last weekend or this weekend. He should have consulted his wife first about his schedule. Another friend decided to drop out since too few people were going (it would be just he, his wife, and I). Either the time spent with me would be boring, or it wouldn't be worth the effort to go out. How is one not to take offense at that? He may be generous with money, but when it comes to giving up other things...

Some friends seem not to care too much about maintaining friendships, others don't want to put in the effort, one doesn't decide whether he is going or not until the last minute... a man puts a high premium on loyalty, but at some point even loyalty isn't enough to sustain a friendship -- when it becomes obvious that there is no reciprocity. If I were the type to "unfriend" people on FB, some people might be surprised to learn who was deleted first from my account.

People become bored if they do not have much to talk about besides the temporary pleasures they have in their lives... what can I really say to people who support Meg Whitman or the Republican brand of corporatism?

It's been almost 3 years since I moved back and I haven't met any new friends. Without money it is not easy. (Even going to an "orthodox" parish in order to socialize with young adults requires gas money at the very least.)

Today was the last day of school, and it might be the last day of work for me as a substitute teacher. (Although I have not yet heard anything from that potential employer.) I left wishing I could have given more and done more. One can only be content with what one has done, provided that he has lived up to his duties. I wish I had had more time with the kids.

During lunch, JM was disciplined when she only wanted to help -- she went back inside the cafeteria to see if she could help clean inside, and was benched for a few minutes because no one is allowed to go into the cafeteria except to pick up their food. She not in a good mood afterwards; I didn't see her after the end of the school day.

When I came home I felt a strong sense of emptiness -- without some real service to the community, I'd derive a very limited amount of satisfaction from work.

How many will "succeed"? How many will fail? If I were to meet them 10 years from now, what would my reaction be? One of the sweet girls that I've known since second grade seems to have fallen under the influence of a girl who gets in trouble often. (I also learned for the first time that she's the cousin of CR!) I am concerned when I see the six graders, and with the acceleration in the rate of physical development for girls, how many will get into boy trouble in middle school?

Niece #1: "Po po, bring me a dolly of kau kau. Or a picture."

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