Reunion

The 20-year anniversary was held at a restaurant/bar in San Francisco near AT&T Park. Fortunately baseball season is over for the Giants, so it was not difficult to find parking. When I first arrived, I had second thoughts about attending, and it didn't help that I did not know (or recognize) anyone there after I signed in. I had decided to go for various reasons, but I did not have high expectations.


Earlier in the day at the S Oktoberfest party, one of KK's friends from church talked about how bad his reunion was. A lot of his classmates had not grown up mentally; they still thought (and talked) like teenagers. I expected that this might be true of some of my classmates as well. I had known some of my classmates since elementary school, but I did not talk to them much during high school. As I mentioned before, most of the classmates with whom I remain in regular contact were not going. I wasn't sure how many people there were with whom I could converse, but I was somewhat surprised by some individuals.
Are reunions an occasion to remember a past that never was, an exercise in nostalgia and excessive sentimentality? I was aware that my connections with my classmates were not of the same depth; how could anyone not be aware of this? There is something laudable about the desire to maintain contact with people from one's past. But is much of the conversation "being fake" - socializing for the sake of socializing? How many will think of you before the next reunion? There is undoubtedly some measure of genuine affection and loyalty between people who were once close friends in high school. But what is their attitude towards the rest? Someone, DY's wife or one of our classmates, mentioned someone entering the party room could quickly figure out what the cliques were. That was rather true. I would like to think that it is not intrinsic to any sort of social occasion involving a large group of people that most of the conversations will be fake. Rather, authenticity (or its lack) depends on the character of the people involved.

So many have moved away from the Bay Area - and the high school, while it united people through a common area and experience, was a very poor instantiation of the political community. It did nothing to promote a sense of local identity (other than joining the alumni association and attending homecoming). I wish I had stronger civic bonds with my classmates, but the sad fact is that most of them are probably "progressive" in their thinking. There is one who identifies herself as a conservative, but she is more Republican than conservative.

Still, five hours went by rather quickly.  I didn't have a chance to talk to a couple of people; as the night went on I lost most of my interest in one of them, but I may try to message the other one through FB. Afterwards, some went elsewhere. I was told that it was another bar, but it was actually a nightclub. I prefer having my wits about me so I didn't drink much that night, though I did try the margarita at the restaurant. Nothing really pleasing about it. I did have pity for some of my classmates, especially those who had not grown past the interest in getting heavily intoxicated. The nightclub may have appealed to the senses; a warm room full of young bodies trying to communicate sensuality through contemporary dancing. "You can look but you can't touch."

Sarge might have enjoyed a walk through SOMA that night. I think the clubbers in the SOMA tend to be more attractive than the people in downtown San Jose. (Is it a different crowd than those who hang out at the bars and clubs of North Beach and Broadway?)

Take on Me