Anton and Ekaterina Daineko
Playing for the other side
50 minutes ago
If we small-o orthodox Christians are going to have strong presences in our post-Christian cities, we are going to have to embrace the Benedict Option where we are. That means starting new, explicitly countercultural schools, or changing the ones we have. That means strengthening the local churches we have, and/or starting prayer groups and other fellowships that help us deepen our faith and communal bonds. My Catholic friend Leah Libresco Sargeant, as a single Catholic convert living in DC, depended heavily on the fellowship and spiritual support in the community around the Dominican House of Studies around Catholic U. Plus, she undertook some initiatives to build community among her young Catholic single friends. If you don’t understand that this is the kind of thing I mean by the Benedict Option, you don’t understand the Benedict Option.
papabear, a Type A woman is not different from the feminist ideal or the contentious woman. She IS those things, but doesn't have to remain so.
I'm told I'm Type A, and it seems to fit. Likes to be in charge, don't trust others to get the job done, know-it-all. Or at least I was. I'm still Type A, but I've learned to channel the strengths of that personality category while starving the weaknesses. It's a lifelong process.
Some say birth order can affect Type (I'm inclined to believe this is true, I'm the oldest child). Maybe it's genes, probably a bit of both...genes susceptible to the particular environment the oldest child finds herself in. I do not discount our current self-esteem go grrrl! culture as a huge factor.
People do not change. They become better or worse versions of themselves, but they do not change their fundamental nature. Once a woman can get in touch with her strengths and weaknesses, she can get out of herself and begin to see how her actions make her a better or worse version of herself. But she has to know who and what she is first, something that is merely paid lip service in our culture of radical self-love and discovery, but is seldom actually DONE by anyone. It takes prayer and the courage to review life with an honest appraisal of her culpability in the negative things that have happened in her life. It is not easy, but it is liberating.
Being Type A can have great benefits. Patterns and efficiency are clearly seen, but trust is in short supply, due to a mindset of almost extreme independence. If you let it get the better of you, a "my way or the highway" attitude can rapidly demoralize all people involved in relationships with you. Type A's have trouble with humility, but that is where fear of God as the beginning of wisdom comes into play. It's partly a function of age and of commitment to relationships of all kinds. Don't let Type A's be loners for TOO long, and don't let them get away with bad behavior, but allow them control over how to resolve their internal and external conflicts. And don't let them drink or do drugs, that's a Type A's #1 stress relieving hobby. Channel the energy into sports that don't involve team play: karate/MMA/BJJ, cycling, rock climbing, etc.