I must admit that when I saw him on TV I didn't have a good impression, though he is right to bring to our attention differences between the way men and women communicate and how they think and behave. Then I learned that there were women who objected to his first book as being sexist (though Dr. Gray himself seems a bit harmless and mousy). (See this abstract attempting to critique his work from all of the "with-it" ideologies--postconstructuralism and feminist critique. You're free to fight nature, but please don't complain if you end up alone.) But what would a typical American woman think if she were to see recommendations for the following books?
Married but Not Engaged by Paul and Sandy Coughlin (Mr. Coughlin is also the author of No More Christian Guy)
A review of The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by a Catholic? Transcript of Dr. Laura on Larry King.
Apparently in a future episode of The Bachelor, the topic of virginity will come up, and one of the women, who says she will wait until marriage, brings up that fact, and the response of the other women... is unbelievable. Sooner or later, sexual histories come out when the women talk to each other, and it's amazing what people will say on camera. Perhaps some of it is faked, but faking a sexual history? People don't care about the impression they make on others.
From the transcript:
Dr Laura: "I have never in 31 years been on the radio had a woman called me that she was proud she had a sexual history that was unmarried. She never felt better about herself, never felt more feminine, never felt a woman."
Another bit:
Larry King needs to listen more... good thing he's not a moderator for a serious debate.
CALLER: I -- I have a question.
I just wanted to know, Dr. Laura, what example are you giving young girls by saying they should not work, they should stay at home with their kids, so they're supposed to just depend on the man to do everything? And, then if he leaves her, she will be stuck with nothing.
SCHLESSINGER: OK. That's the feminist mantra: You have to be prepared, because men are pigs, and they will use you and dump you.
KING: She said what if he leaves you? Didn't say pigs.
SCHLESSINGER: No, no, no. I'm saying...
KING: He leaved her -- he left her.
(CROSSTALK)
SCHLESSINGER: Those words came out of my mouth.
KING: Didn't have to be a pig.
OK.
SCHLESSINGER: Those words came out of my mouth. That's the feminist mantra. Be paranoid. Make sure...
KING: Be independent.
SCHLESSINGER: Nobody's independent. We need to depend on each other. KING: OK. Go ahead.
SCHLESSINGER: We love each other. We rely on each other. We are -- we are perfected by our intimate relationships.
KING: The question was what does she do when the man leaves? She's got two kids.
SCHLESSINGER: No. No way. That was not the question.
The question is, what role model? A fabulous one. I'm telling women to get their education, pick wisely, plan, that they can't have everything all at once. They will go crazy, because it can't happen, to do things sequentially, to -- I always tell women that kids are 5 or 6 years old, they will be in school. You have from 8:00 in the morning until 4:00 in the afternoon.
You want to do work during then, artist's work, exercise, whatever it is you want to work. But the most fulfilling thing about life, the thing that makes us the happiest -- and everybody is asking how to be happy -- what makes us the happiness is fulfilling our obligations to others.
And when we do that in a sequential way, we are able to focus and give what we need to give in the places we need to give it. And, as I said, choose wisely, treat kindly. When we choose a man right, and when we treat him well, the statistical probability that he will feel a need to walk away from us gets very small.
3 comments:
PB, I enjoyed the interview with Dr. Laura. My mum and dad always treat each other with great respect, and they obviously love each other. My mum stayed at home with us kids until the youngest was 13, and even then there was no way she was a "latchkey" kid, since there was the second-youngest keeping a brotherly eye on her. And my mum always put my dad before us kids. And my dad always put my mum before us kids. One thing: Mum felt terrible about spending her life at home, and now really enjoys her job. However, I am positive she was made to feel bad by the sneers of 1970s feminism and its distain for 1.housewives 2.women who had more than 2 children.
By the way, just because I wander around the house in the morning in sweatpants, messy hair and glasses doesn't mean I would do that if I were married. My way of coping with living with male housemates is treating you as if you were secondary brothers. So don't go around telling your cute friends what I look like in the morning, should they ever take an interest in me.
well hopefully they're not reading your comment then... ;)
Is't this available all over the world? Most people r in pj's as much as possible! ;) ENJOY! Larry King maybe a little daff, with age & all. He missed the part where she says she's the "cute" nude, but the "slutty" on floor, not her. It was great for a laugh. Most of her lies more harmful.
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