Headship

Some may make the argument that a woman should submit or obey a husband only with respect to what pertains to the good of the family -- that his authority is only for leading the family as a whole, and providing instruction to his wife as to what is to be done for the good of the family. To tell his wife what to do with respect to his private benefit does not fall under the Apostles' injunction and is tantamount to treating his wife as a servant or a slave(!).

But the Apostle Paul does say she should submit "in everything" (Ephesians 5:24 -- I need to double-check with the Greek). This may go against the contemporary egalitarian notion of relationships. Perhaps the male egalitarians who believe in soulmates and such imagine that their wives are just like men in their thinking, even if their bodies are very different. But if men and women are not equals and do not act or think in the same ways with respect to the one another, but the women expects to be led and the man to take the initiative in their "relationship" or marital friendship, then the man must lead her with respect to their own friendship and not only with respect to the family good. Otherwise she will be dissatisfied with the quality of the relationship and with her man. The sort of equality that marriage egalitarians think is possible is actually possible only with respect to intermale friendship (and probably to a lesser extent with interfemale friendships), in which men come come to a consensus about what they are going to do rather than have one man "lead" -- that is what reciprocity would seem to require, that men take turns in having the initiative for activities (e.g. hosting) and be allowed to take the initiative, rather than have one man doing everything.

Ao, men should tell their wives to make them a sandwich; a woman who is not willing to do this for her man has issues with men that need to be corrected or healed before she can have a healthy relationship with a man.

There are a few women who are the boss in the family; do they really respect their compliant, nice husbands? Are they really satisfied with their relationship? How often do they engage in marital relations? Or are they comfortable with how things are because they are neither willing to change themselves or to deal with their excessive self-love/pride?

Dalrock: She’s the boss, you’re a guest.