The New Rules

Deti:

This comment and the earlier posts made me think of an early Dalrock post:


Old Rules or New? dalrock.wordpress.com/2010/09/30/old-rules-or-new/


Generally the post is about the morality of pickup, Game, casual sex et al. Go read it to put the quote below in full context.


The Oracle of Dallas said:


“In the end I don’t know the right answer to this [questions of moral authority] until/unless we as a society decide which set of rules we will live by. I think from a practical perspective the best we can hope for from individuals for now is consistency. Pick one, old rules or new. *** I think the bigger problem we have today are those who choose one set of rules when it suits them and then switch to the other when it is to their benefit. Even worse are the churches which give those living under the new rules or blended rules false moral comfort. At any rate, none of this bodes well for our society. As Haley puts it in a recent comment on her blog:


“No society can survive, much less thrive, when the family unit goes kaput.”


I think that we as a society have made our collective choice. For their part, women as a whole have made theirs. Worse, Christians have allowed the society surrounding them to make the choice for them. And the choice they made or acquiesced to is clear:


New rules.


So be it.


So let’s recap:

Old rules: Men readied themselves for marriage through education or work, earning enough to support a wife and family. Men selected women a little younger and married early. They enjoyed a slut or two, then settled down. Women’s sexuality was tightly controlled. Sluts were called out and identified publicly, and had sharply reduced marriage prospects. Women were under pressure to choose a man early and get married early — if they wanted marriage. Of course no one was forced into marriage.


Divorce was fault based only, tightly controlled, and favored men so as to provide for children. You could not get a divorce unless you proved one of the A’s – abuse (real, repeated physical threats of death or serious bodily harm), adultery, abandonment. If a man wanted to trade in his old model, he paid generous alimony. But if she ran off with Harley McBadboy, she left with her clothes and her jewelry and that was it, and the kids stayed with Dad. No alimony, no child support. Shame was the order of the day: If you didn’t follow these rules, you were to be ashamed and were a bit separated from society.


Out with the old, in with the new.


New Rules: Men and women are considered equal in every way. Women are completely unrestrained socially, professionally, educationally and sexually. Courtship and early marriage are a thing of the past. For men, marriage is to be avoided. All the incentives to marriage have been removed. Sex is easily obtained if one has some modicum of status. The top 15% or so of men get most of the female attention and sex. Young men who cannot get sex will have to bide their time until they are older and have more status, money, or security. Some will drop out and GTOW, living their lives and getting sex when they can. Some will learn Game and improve their lots. They will find easy prey in single women who are around age 30 on their way to their destinies with The Wall. Most will not improve, and will live in sexual desolation. A tiny few will sequester themselves in enclaves of like minded people and try to live by the old rules, until the inevitable happens and the world presses in on all sides, chipping away at their lives.


New rules require new strategies for “relationships” (such as they are) with women. In general, for all men, marriage is not advisable because the risks far outweigh the benefits. For alphas, it’s rotating, soft harems. Who is society to press a man to marry when that society won’t help him protect his investment? Married alphas will run dark triad and cheat and get away with it. For the rest, it’s catch as catch can. The strategies most will employ will include no dating until sex, keeping monetary and time investments to an absolute minimum, and pressing for sex as early as possible. Limiting investment is self-protection — don’t put out time or money until she has put out sex. Sexual pressure and her response to it is the way to measure the woman’s interest– if she’s interested, she’ll give it up early. If not, it is in his interest to dump her and move on. He has learned that There Will Always Be Another Woman. He has learned that even wives can be replaced with a string of girlfriends if he’s willing to do the work. Those who cannot or will not do this will either go into involuntary celibacy, or marry and hope for the best.


As for married men, the New Rules require married Game, mostly to do what they can to protect themselves against the ever-present threat of the divorce meat grinder and to shield any children from its destructive effects. As above, married alphas will do whatever they want, in and out of their marriages. For the rest, it will require overtly assuming the dominant role in the marriage, keeping frame, maintaining state control, smacking down rebellion, learning and passing her fitness tests, sparsely applied Dread when necessary, demanding and expecting frequent sex, assuming the dominant role in sex, and expecting and enforcing her compliance with the above.


What about women? Well, women (including Christian women) have been living by these rules for about 35 years now. And young women secretly love it. Young women between the ages of 17 and 26 can have sex whenever they want, with whomever they want. Any woman at a 4 or above in attractiveness can get sex if that’s what she wants. They are free to indulge their natural hypergamous instincts, holding out for the top men for sex and “dating” when they are younger. They use their looks and the “carrot” of sex to extract tribute in the form of drinks, meals, entertainment and gifts. They don’t want or need marriage or commitment because they earn their own money, taking jobs away from men who might otherwise be eligible and who might otherwise marry them.


“Dating” and “courtship” for these women will consist of meeting men at bars, at parties, or through mutual friends. She doesn’t like most of them because their betaness is immediately apparent, and dumps them after one “date” or hangout session. For the few she likes, it’s hanging out a time or three, watching rented movies or walking around a museum looking at the work of obscure artists (no admission charge), followed by sex on the second or third “hangout” session. Or if she really likes him and is tingling, she’ll go home with him and have sex with him, and hope that he likes her enough to hang out again sometime. Or if she doesn’t like him or was sufficiently shamed or embarrassed, she’ll delete his later texts and refuse to return his calls. After she has sex with him, she might get a meal at a nice restaurant once or twice, and maybe a weekend away. She consents to become his sex toy, and he takes her off the shelf and plays with her when he wants. He then puts her back on the shelf until he wants to play with her again. If she’s too much hassle, he disappears without a trace.


Then around age 28 the expectations of commitment and marriage come with increasing volume and shrillness. An increasing number of women never marry, instead consigning themselves to careers which they now must work at to support themselves. (The number of women in this category will explode in the coming years, if the economy holds up.) Many “work” at worthless, make work government or public sector jobs, or private companies in cubicle farm jobs, at which they are minimally competent at best. They remain in the jobs due to a vast panoply of legal and social protections. They never marry or have children. A few have bastards. A tiny few become lesbians.


If she’s lucky, marriage to beta ensues, followed by a child or two, then “I’m not haaaappy” and divorce (maybe an affair thrown in for good measure). Then it’s gravy train and post-divorce cougardom/spinsterhood for ex-wife and wage slavery and societal isolation for ex husband. In the best case, she stays married to beta, but remains miserably unhappy, making everyone else around her miserable as well.


These are the New Rules. Our society has decreed them.


So it has been decided; so it shall be.