'Manners Makyth Man' by Rev. George W. Rutler

At the age of 16, George Washington copied out his "110 Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation," which first appeared in a 16th-century manual written by Jesuits who were firm in their association of manners and morals. Washington came to represent the best of the Augustine age and "every body honoured him who honoured every body."

The way people dress and speak and treat one another signals their self-perception. I have seen enough undershirts worn as dress shirts emblazoned with scatological curses, and have heard enough four-letter Elizabethanisms from the mouths of debutantes, and have been to enough receptions with ear-shattering rock music, to know that we are not in a golden age, or even a reduced gilded age, of manners.

John Henry Cardinal Newman defined the gentleman, and perforce the lady, in cadences which have become almost as incomprehensible as the terms "gentleman" and "lady" themselves. "It is almost a definition of a gentleman to say he is one who never inflicts pain." And it is a very good thing to have a double standard: Eve is supposed to civilize Adam, and when a woman is vulgar she shows her man the exit from paradise. In speaking of pain inflicted, Newman speaks of moral care for the consciences of others. The gentleman puts others at ease and "makes light of favours while he does them, and seems to be receiving when he is conferring." He does not slander or gossip, treats his enemy as a potential friend, and is "merciful to the absurd."

via Tea at Trianon